why do i dislike gracie abrams so much?
girly literally did nothing to me... am i being unreasonable?
She seems so sweet, why don’t I like her???? I’m just as confused as you, so let’s try and untangle this. I have an inkling it’s due to a nice cocktail of internalised misogyny (some ‘not like other girls’ attitude on my part), annoyance at nepo babies/me just not liking her music that much. Maybe I’m just sick of conventionally attractive white women getting praised for creating a fairly similar product (in my opinion, at least) to other already established artists.
Apparently there are a fair few people who dislike (read: persistently despise) her, for varying reasons. There are those who think her status as a nepo baby (daughter of Star Wars director J.J Abrams) is the reason for her success as a mediocre artist, and honestly? I have to agree a little bit. That’s just my personal taste, though—I know plenty of young women who adore and relate to her music. And to be fair, there are other nepo babies who I think have had to rely on their connections in the industry: all the Kardashians/Jenners, Brooklyn Beckham, Lily Rose Depp and Dakota Johnson. On the other hand, I think there are also nepo babies who, though they had a significant leg up in the game, do live up to their potential—Zoë Kravitz, Willow Smith, Maya Hawke and Robert Downey Jr. among others.
But the nepo baby status is not all! Let me just preface this next section: fans of the current ‘white boy of the month’ are often… a little extreme—or at least a particular section are. While I can’t relate to the Paul Mescal stans who are mad at her for daring to be liked by him (I think they have their own problems to sort out!), I do find her singing style to be a bit too similar to Lorde’s for my liking. Also—she made a pedophilic comment about Finn Wolfhard when he was 14 and she was 18??
First of all: I’ve said it once, but I’m afraid I truly do find her music to be a bit lacking. I tried, I swear—I listened to both Good Riddance and The Secret of Us thinking I’d enjoy them, but I’m sad to report I found them to be a little too bland sonically across the board. There were a couple of songs I thought were decent, but not enough for me to fully change my mind about her music overall. I’m also not the biggest fan of her singing voice, which sounds to me like (apologies) a bit of a rip off of Lorde’s signature husky vocals. And as a big fan of Lorde, I’d rather listen to the original.
Okay, let’s get around to that pedophilia bombshell—she said what?
So yes, she was 18 when she posted this. I cannot. This is inherently disgusting; he clearly looks and acts like (and IS) a child. At best, this was a creepy joke by an immature teenager (still horrible) and at worst… you can fill in the gaps. I’ll admit, I only found out about this after I’d already had a general dislike of Gracie’s music (and just indifference) but I think this is wrong regardless of my attitude towards her. Ignoring my other personal opinions, I think this is a valid reason to be wary of her. Hopefully this was just a silly and stupid joke (STILL a sickening joke to make) when she was young (but not that young…) and she’s hopefully changed now.
Lastly, it may be a bit of the classic internalised misogyny on my end. As in, you see something girls/women enjoy and immediately discount it as bad. I may have been quick to count her in that ‘basic’ category (though I enjoy some Taylor Swift, Olivia Rodrigo, Sabrina Carpenter…), but at least I did give her music a fair chance and just found it’s not to my taste. Or as I mentioned earlier, the same type of pretty, thin white girl keeps getting championed as the representative of girlhood. It doesn’t help that her career wouldn’t have as much exposure if she didn’t have a little aid from her father.
Thanks for listening to my short but dramatic rant—I’ve had a ton of my friends mention her album with admiration and praise, and I couldn’t help but keep thinking, ‘why am I not getting it?!!’ Sometimes, you just don’t like someone—which is natural. I don’t know her, I don’t hate her with vitriol, but am rather indifferent. Happy for those who resonate with her music though! Just be sceptical about her interesting comment about Finn Wolfhard.
hi! thank you for reading <3 i’d love to hear your thoughts—agreements, disagree, a bit of both, all of it! it’s you who makes this newsletter possible, thank you for your support. if you’d like to leave a like or a comment that’ll fuel me to write xoxo
My best friend and I went on a rant trying to get to the bottom of our dislike for her and we simply chalked it up to the fact that because she is a nepo baby we expect more. We aren’t anti-nepo baby, but rather anti-people that have all the resources I could ever dream of and still produce a “mid” product that lacks originality. I hope this comment doesn’t come back and bite me but oh well.
i feel like this is a very unbiased post and i think i really like it, despite being a BIG gracie stan. after seeing the comments and everything, i am kind of scared to comment, but it's whatever. that comment towards finn was absolutely disgusting and i dont think anything changes that. i am not here to defend it but also, i def think calling her a pedophile (not you, but many people do say that) is a bit TOO much when there are MANY actual celebs and artists being worshipped like anything and are excused, whether misogyny or just internet being.. well, internet. that was a stupid "joke" but she is clearly very sorry about it (i dont know if you have seen her reply regarding this) and it was a dumb thing to say but im glad she recognises how bad it was and im glad she hasnt ever repeated that. i dont know her personally so i cant say with my full chest and claim she is perfectly clear of all that or whatever but i think she has learnt from this mistake. apart from that, everything you said about her music is just ur personal taste. which is totally fine! i am glad you werent purely hating. idk why with every artist who becomes popular becomes also this big controversy. and people saying she's "meh" for a nepo baby and stuff lowkey really infuriates me, her being "meh" to someone is very subjective, music IS subjective and i get how someone else could've used those resources better but then we can also say poor people on the streets could've used OUR resources better than us and the work we are producing is meh. and she didnt choose to be born in a rich family, i dont get why she gets hate for THAT, but again, internet is a wild thing. none of this discourse used to happen when it was just a small fandom (i have been her listener since a LONG time so i know). i think her team pushing her pop girl agenda or just her trying out new things (+ obv being a nepo baby) is causing all this, but that's alright. internet picks up on everyone and everything anyways, you cant win, i am a BIG fan of her music, found her one song "for real this time" on spotify shuffle a random day and i have been here ever since, and her lyrics has found me at my worst and held me better anyone and anything, that's just my opinion/taste like everyone else's which is also fine obv. and again, thanks for this post, i love how u worded it <3